Parenting: The Burden & The Joy
It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world. John 16:21 NLT
This is one of my favorite scriptures. Jesus uses it as an example to his disciples, to help them understand that even though they would be sad about him dying, their grief would soon turn to joy.
I feel that sorrow turns to joy is especially true in becoming a parent. It's a theme I have experienced often. Your whole life is turned upside down and you can have deep feelings of sorrow. From losing the alone time you had with just you and your spouse, to losing freedom, like not always choosing when you can get ready or even feed yourself.
I thought marriage was a test of my selfless love... That was until my first child was born. My husband did not scream and cry when he was not fed (well sometimes), he did not have blowouts, wake me up at all hours of the night, he did not demand for me to comfort him. In fact I realized when I had a child just how selfish I truly was. I don't say this to make you feel guilty or think about how horrible you are for wanting to get ready and have a coffee all alone. I say this because it was through my children that I learned how to love others in a much deeper and wonderful way.
This season of parenting is full. It's full of so many different, yet amazing lessons. it's a beautiful path that God has given you, so that you can discover even more of who he is in your life.
You might be thinking: "Ok, well that's nice but I am tired and I feel weak! I am not sure I can do this parent thing." I have good news for you: We all feel that at some point.
I remember with my first child. This feeling of doubt and fear and wanting to throw in the towel. I was always worried and afraid with my first born, and so many times I wish I could go back and tell myself:
"You are going to be ok, your precious son will be ok. This whole baby thing goes fast even though you don't feel it. Don't wish for him to grow up, don't wish you could be doing things that others get to do, because they don't have a baby! Instead look into your baby's face and breathe deep, knowing that your baby is depending on you for life and guidance and all the sorrow you feel will turn to joy! The first time you see him smile, laugh, crawl, walk. Just the simple fact that he is part of you."
It goes too fast, the season of parenthood, so don't wish it away or try to escape it, because God is using you in one of his children's lives in a deeper way than anyone will be used in their life. It is the most beautiful gift so please rest in that.
My prayer for you is that you won't feel the heavy burden of parenthood, but the huge wonder and gift of it all. That you would seek out other parents and friends to come along side you, because I truly believe you are not meant to raise your child alone. I know at Rise, we have many families and I know all of them want to come along side you in your journey. But that sometimes means reaching out and saying: "I need help. This is hard!" I know that, even though the sorrow of so many losses can at times feel overwhelming, you should trust deeply that there will be Joy, amazing, wonderful, indescribable joy.
