It all started when we wanted to try to have another baby. We got pregnant really fast but also lost the baby really fast at 8 weeks, it was the most devastating thing. As we started trying, again, we got pregnant quickly and things were looking great. Though I was filled with fear once we got to the second trimester that started to fade until I went to my 18-week appointment and there wasn’t a heartbeat. I was beyond crushed. I don’t think I’d ever felt so empty.
However, through this season I was reminded of a vision that God had given me many years before.
The vision was this: I was standing at my front door and my teenage children were coming in with their friends. Immediately, I had a powerful feeling that the love of God surrounded them.
This vision has been something I've held onto ever since. I knew that God had a plan for me. To be a mother of many. Not just my own kids but others as well.
One year later, God gave us the great joy of welcoming our little Gracie into the world. After all that pain, I felt him giving my pain a purpose.
But soon, after some time, we started wanting to have baby number three.
Yet again, we had yet another loss.
Despite all this back and forth between blessing and disappointment, I feel like these past 6 years of joy and loss after joy and loss have pushed me closer to God. To know the sorrow of losing a child, just like He did is devastating.
But it is a joy to know that He uses our pain to help those around us! I’ve had countless people share their stories with me because I first shared mine. Many friends ask how they can help those going through the same losses. Incredibly, my pain and healing is bringing hope to others!
And today, I have the joy of reporting that our story didn't end there. In fact, by God's grace, we welcome baby number three into the world this December! I can’t help but see the tangible proof of the promise God gave me over 10 years ago.